Marriage is one issue that never losses it charms as a topic
for family discussions, social and religious seminars and even news stories. It
is one decision of life which is heavily loaded with expectations, mostly on
the woman’s side. Today I came across a news story about Iraqi women facing
court ordered virginity tests and I thought what else misogynistic societies
can come up with next.
Muslim societies appear to be over obsessed with relations
pertaining to opposite sex and we regularly come across horror stories where
youth get killed in the name of honour. Instead of providing alternative, religiously
legitimate routes for the younger generation, our society prefers putting up
more and more barriers in the way. Unfortunately, the barriers are completely
ineffective against the hormones gushing in bloodstream of young members of society;
hence time and again we find boys and girls indulging into activities that they
perhaps shouldn’t be involved in. But
the injustice doesn’t end here. Almost in every instance, one finds the blame
being placed on the female counterpart. Not only men, but women in our society
are found saying things like, ‘behkane wali toh humesha larki hi hoti hai, jab
tak larki agey na bare larka kuch nahi kar sakta.’
Coming back to the court order of virginity test for Iraqi
women, one wonders why only for women? If a woman is either a divorcee or a
widow, she would definitely not be a virgin; hence it’s obvious that the test
is for unmarried women only. But then, why are unmarried men exempted from it?
May be because there is no test to ascertain a man’s virginity, but does that
make it fair? Is it ok for men to have pre-marital sex?
Islam being a code of conduct of life, it certainly talks
very clearly about the principles in matters like adultery and fornication.
Following are some Quranic verses on the topic:
The man and woman guilty of adultery or fornication,-
flog each of them with a hundred stripes: Let not compassion move you in their
case, in a matter prescribed by Allah, if ye believe in Allah and the Last Day:
and let a party of the Believers witness their punishment. (Holy Quran 24:2)
The
adulterer shall not marry save an adulteress or an idolatress, and the
adulteress none shall marry save an adulterer or an idolater. All that is
forbidden unto believers. (Holy Quran 24:3)
It’s obvious from the Quranic verses mentioned above that
both man and woman are equally guilty for the act of adultery or fornication
and punishment is for both. I have no intention of going into a debate about
the mode of punishment because that is not what we are concerned with here.
What matters is to acknowledge the fact that it takes two to commit fornication
and hence both man and woman should be considered equally responsible and both
should bear the consequences without societies giving clean passage to the ‘so
called’ men who cannot stand up to their mistakes.
Sins committed by an individual in past are his/her personal
matter and should not be brought out in front of everyone deliberately. Allah
(swt) -the merciful, holds the right to forgive and we are no one to snatch it
away from anyone. Lets open up our hearts and accept the fact that religion is
not as cold as we interpret it to be.
An edited version of this post appeared as a blog on the website of Express Tribune
http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/12535/of-patriarchy-and-virginity-tests/
An edited version of this post appeared as a blog on the website of Express Tribune
http://blogs.tribune.com.pk/story/12535/of-patriarchy-and-virginity-tests/
